The Marriage Debt in Wilmot's “The Imperfect Enjoyment” and Behn's “The Disappointment”

In the twelfth century, the Catholic Church, in its ever-developing theology of marriage, mandated that the union between a man and woman be viewed as a contract. Interpreting Paul's first letter to the Corinthians literally, the church placed itself squarely in the bed of married couples, mandating they pay unto each other a “marriage debt.” This order required men, as well as women, to submit to sexual relations if the other spouse so desired. While this seemed like a win-win situation for the already-dominant male in the relationship, it became a strangely empowering opportunity for women. Not only did they now have some form of equality with men, they had it by way of their sexual prowess. As men are notoriously affected by their sexual desires, women found not only equality, but dominion in the bedroom. In the seventeenth century, John Wilmot and Aphra Behn, through their poetry, gave opposing perspectives on the notion of mutual sexual gratification, although their writings weren't necessarily about married couples. The marriage debt created an attitude towards sex that is perpetuated in these authors' works.

Wilmot's “The Imperfect Enjoyment” is the masculine response to mutual pleasure, and blames women themselves for male impotence. He describes the intimate scene of a man and woman entangled in passionate embrace, “both equally inspired with eager fire (3).” For Wilmot, passion only becomes enhanced when he realizes the shame of his debauchery. It is ironic that, in line 14, he claims that his lover's hand “should convey [his] soul up to her heart,” but, ever-so immediately, in line 15, “In liquid raptures [he] dissolve all o'er.” The narrator's one loving thought, signifying the romantic bond between a man and woman, pushes him over the edge and to an early ejaculation. This is to be expected, he claims, as “her hand, her foot, her very look's a cunt” (18). He blames the woman for having too much sexual power, insinuating that she could do something more to prevent his premature release.

Invoking the true ideology of the marriage debt, the narrator's lover even asks, “Is there no more?” and cries, “All this to love and rapture's due / Must we not pay a debt to pleasure, too (21-23)?” The man recognizes his inability to please this woman, and his passion quickly changes from one form to another: “And rage at last confirms me impotent” (30). His words are no longer lovingly passionate, but soaked in outrage. Wilmot suggests that women are sexually deviant creatures who prevent men from ever attaining true love, for their sexual charms are too powerful. Wilmot certainly sees the marriage debt as an unfair juxtaposition. This is further addressed in “Against Constancy,” where he argues against monogamy, instead resorting to the company of other males who will not judge his shortcomings.

Aphra Behn responds to Wilmot's blame of women for impotence in her poem, “The Disappointment.” Behn sets up the scene similarly to Wilmot. She begins with two lovers, Cloris and Lysander, in the beginnings of sexual consummation. Playing on Wilmot's love of lewdness, she explains how Lysander's passion is further ignited when he recognizes the shame that burdens Cloris: “Her eyes sweet, and yet severe / Where love and shame confusedly strive / Fresh vigour to Lysander give (21-23).” When Lysander prematurely ejaculates, and Cloris realizes he is “unable to perform the sacrifice,” she becomes confused, blushes, and runs away (70). Not only has this woman suffered the shame of allowing her virginity to be taken, she does so with lack of her own sexual gratification. However, Behn doesn't regard men with the same hostility that Wilmot uses to refer to women in this situation. Despite her lack of pleasure, she fails to condemn Lysander for his impotence. She says that “none can guess Lysander's soul,” but knows that his “silent griefs swell up to storms” (133, 135). Instead, Behn is sarcastic in her criticism of such men, simply stating, at the end, that the “shepherdess's charms … had damned him to the hell of impotence” (138, 140).

Behn's response to Wilmot doesn't punish men for their impotence – their impotence alone is punishment enough. Instead, she explains the impact of sexual relations on a woman of her era, and creates sympathy for those women who are left unsatisfied by their inadequate partners. Her ability to speak out on behalf of women is in part due to the creation of the marriage debt. This new philosophy gave women the right to equal sexual pleasure, first, within marriage, and later, in both open and closed sexual relationships.


Works Cited
Behn, Aphra. “The Disappointment.” The Longman Anthology of British Literature. 4th ed. Ed. David Damrosch & Kevin J. H. Dettmar. New York: Pearson Education, Inc., 2010. 2126-2129.

Wilmot, John. “The Imperfect Enjoyment.” The Longman Anthology of British Literature. 4th ed. Ed. David Damrosch & Kevin J. H. Dettmar. New York: Pearson Education, Inc., 2010. 2205-2207.